Originally written: 3/13/2011
Let's check the pulse of where I am right now...
As I put my standby guy on the plane back home, I searched myself for any feelings I may harbor. I love him without a doubt. There has never been a question of that. What lies in question is if that is enough to justify seeking a life together. Must someone be in love to remain true and faithful to the relationship..? Todd was unable to do it. Surely he loved me at some point, but in the end was in love with someone else...or at the very least had woefully fallen out of love with me. That alone should serve as a warning and answer any lingering questions I should have, and yet I still find myself considering the possibility of forever. I suppose I will just have to sit with it. I believe I'm perfectly comfortable staying single and not entering into a serious relationship...as I've been enjoying the freedom to be myself...and not having to put anothers' thoughts and feelings before my own.
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