Ok, people, here we go again. Just when I thought I'd escaped the clutches of my evil ex-mother-in-law...now I'm in a relationship with her son again...and I can't seem to break freeeee....*gasp, choke...*
Is this never going to end? I thought my mom was bad...and that her getting old was the worst thing that could ever happen to our relationship. Until...that is...I noticed that Todd's mom and dad are starting to show the telltale signs of aging and all that comes with it...short memory, difficulty understanding the most basic of concepts, downright resistance to any form of change, negativity, sarcastic cutting little words and statements, sometimes dipped in sugar or smothered in honey, but still the same acid in their bite...being stubborn...grrrrr!!!! and even all this wouldn't matter so much if I didn't have to have a relationship with them...but damn it! here I am again...where I celebrated never having to be again...with shouts, dancing, a blood sacrifice...all those things that villagers once did when the volcano didn't spit fire and rain destruction down on their lives. It's like I want to run outside, shake my fist at the sky, and demand an explanation for this outrage!!
And yet...I know that I love them. Otherwise the things they say and do (and don't do) wouldn't hurt me...so this must mean that I carry some tender feelings for them. Just two three weeks ago, before Sharon went to visit her mother (who she hates for many of the same reasons, btw)...she stuck her nose in Todd's business with Luke about the trailer and forced us to drop everything to run up there and empty it out so he and his new girlfriend and her kids could move in, since they were being evicted from their apt. I was already frustrated with this meddling, but resolved to go up and move the items with as little chit chat as possible and get on our way. When we got there, she was inside the trailer, doing what we were there to do, packing and getting in the way. Before we could leave, she forced me into a discussion with her about what is going on with Todd and I, and her part in it. I wasn't ready for this, knowing we need someone there as a mediator...because she is famous for acting like she understands and everything is great, until you walk away, then it becomes something else all together...and she will hold it against you and make you pay...forever. This time was no different.
I told her how I felt about her allowing her son to become an adulterer under her own roof, while he pushed me for a divorce...and how she sat at my house on Christmas while he was in her home with his mistress and pretended that everything was normal. Ugh. She had lots of apologies and excuses, but none where she accepted responsibility for allowing and encouraging him in his immoral and outrageous behavior, which hurt numerous people, me and my children included. Too much. The worst part of it died down when Matt showed up, and we concluded our talk not too long after, agreeing that getting together as a family with a spiritual counselor to guide us in forming healthy family communication bonds would be good for all of us. I even sent her a text a couple of hours later, apologizing for the hard moments and hoping that our future together would be brighter. She sent me back a very sweet text, saying she was sorry for so much she didn't understand, and that she was so fortunate to get this second chance with me. It was such a nice thing to hear, I saved it on my phone. Maybe to remember how it all was before she got a good chance to twist it and turn it into something else entirely.
I am undecided if this is a result of her aging process, or if there is something in her that is just dark and ugly. I really don't know. When I look at her, I see loneliness and unhappiness, not darker things...so it is really hard to tell. How can we truly ever know another person, really...? I learned this lesson much too well from her son...and knowing this...I think the answer is....only as well as they want you to...and that's that.
Ugh. Man, do I need some humor or what?! Anyone out there got any for me...? Please?
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